Let me share an important insight about relationships and a few tips with you.
What do you think is the single most important thing that makes or breaks your new relationship?
Well, after that initial attraction is created and shared between you both, the single most important part of your new relationship is the level of communication you and a man share.
How this important part of relationships is working out for you? Well, let us get right to the point.
1. Does the way you and the man in your life communicate make you feel loved and appreciated?
2. Or does it only frustrate you and make you feel sad, alone and misunderstood?
If you do not know what to say to a man to start open conversations about your relationship and the feelings you're both having without triggering him to pull away and then creating a real relationship where you can truly love and support each other is going to be an impossible struggle.
There is an easier way.... =)
Do you know the SECRETS that will make a man feel excited and inspired to talk, listen and share his feelings with you even if he is never been this way before in a relationship? The reality is, most men do not just open up and communicate the way you want and need them to...
And because of this, lots of women ended up trying to compensate by TALKING MORE and doing all the "work" in their relationship. Of course, this just drains you and encourages the man you're with to WITHDRAW even more. The things that allow you and a man to listen, hear and understand each other aren't "givens" in your relationship. Just because you have strong FEELINGS for each other, it doesn't mean you're going to have the kind of COMMUNICATION you need to make your relationship truly work and LAST. More love and sacrifice on your part is NOT going to make the lack of communication and sharing you have in your relationship better. But you're thoughtful and generous for trying this and caring enough to give even more of yourself. Unfortunately, stretching yourself to the point of frustration and emotional break-down isn't going to help you - or him.
So then what should you do?
There are a few essential "keys" to building an "open line" of communication in your relationship with a man that will prevent him from closing off, withdrawing, and becoming distant no matter what happens between you. Do you know how to share YOUR FEELINGS with a man (even the most intense ones that scare you too) so that instead of getting irritated or freaked out by them... he listens in a supportive and understanding way?
At the essence of what makes things work is the "hidden message" behind what you're saying to a man that even you aren't fully aware of - but have everything to do with YOUR FEELINGS and the response deep down you really want from him. Each time you try and share something with a man, and each time he responds to you (or doesn't)... there's a subtle message being communicated under the surface. And this is going on even if you don't see this right now, or believe it's there or not.
Each communication has what's called a "bid" to it. And a "bid" is the hidden "subtext" that is what we REALLY MEAN, or are really asking for. For example, a man might say to you- "Honey, I don't feel like talking right now" and do it with a tone of voice that shows he's frustrated or annoyed. This is a "bid."
What a man REALLY MEANS when he says this is - "I don't know if I have the ENERGY and the desire to get into this with you, because I'm afraid it will turn into some big emotional thing, and I'm not willing to go there with you now." Of course, most men aren't even fully AWARE that this is what they're feeling or communicating. It's just their instant EMOTIONAL RESPONSE that isn't entirely conscious and thought through.
Help the man in your life be the one who can truly hear you and recognize and care for you and your feelings... and get HIS NEEDS MET at the same time. Once you learn how to do his, you will instantly become that amazing woman a man feels relaxed, open and "free" around. Translation - the woman he wants to STAY WITH. Close the gap between your feelings and what the man in your life "gets" about you. Don't wait for things to fix themselves... or keep waiting for a man to finally "get it" when he hasn't figured it out after all this time and effort.
P.s: Hope this helps in nurturing your new or current relationship. Just my opinion though. Hope all my readers will like this post. And more to come! Thanks =)
Kinda moody now. Quite stressful with finals which is starting on this Friday. I need mojo to continue my spirit of studying for my final battle of my degree life!
signing off, janiceyeap™
~nowplaying- Fantastic Baby by Big Bang~