Friday, February 27, 2009

Extreme.

I'm too busy to write a blog about my daily routines. Seriously i was too upset over myself! Dreadfully upset and disappointed with it. Haih. Why would you do like this to me? 9 tasks to be completed starting from today onwards. Too many things to be done and thank god i am still able to spend time with my dearies. I had same lecture with yin on wednesday and sat beside her in lecture hall. After that, i had thermodynamics quiz which i was freaking shocked about it. :( On thursday i had fluid mechanics lab and dynamics mid term test!!! wow. Super busy on that day. The next day which is today is my Introduction to Chemical Engineering assignment deadline! ZZzzzzz... Thank god i managed to finish my few tasks of the week. The coming one will be very busy!! Haih. :(

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Why Men Often Leave Relationships?

I came across this article. hmm. Now let's talk about the reasons why men often leave relationships...

***COMMENT***

I have been seeing my boyfriend for a year and a half and we have a great relationship on all levels (intellectually, physically, etc). However unfortunately we have been 'head-bashing' over a certain problem that keeps resurfacing in our relationship and now it has literally come to a point where he wants "time out". I have a problem trusting him and want to always control siituations. I have constantly been giving him nonsense when he socialises with his female friends, and have an insecurity that he will leave me. It has been very strenuous on him and he actually told me this morning that he wants to be with me but he no longer knows what to do and wants time out of this relationship... I finally did something right this morning when speaking to him, I just listened and said that I understood. He said we will discuss it further this evening. I am SO LOST! I don't know what to do to fix this now, and am not sure if this is 'fixable'. I REALLY LOVE him and he loves me, but it has been carrying on for so long he doesn't want to hear excuses anymore. PLEASE HELP me. What can I do to make this work?


***RESPONSE***
Ok, I'm going to have to pull out the hammer here because you're doing the worst of all things-Using your fear and neediness to justify hurting yourself and pushing your guy away. Here's what I want you to do...Please go to the nearest mirror, look yourself dead in the eyes, and then slap yourself hard across the cheek. 
Oh, and make sure your boyfriend is watching too, so you can then turn to him, freak out and cry, and then blame him for "making you do it." And when he responds by saying, "But you just slapped yourself"... I want you to freak out even more until he starts to think that something is going really and truly wrong with you in the head. AND THEN... I want you to get even more upset because now he thinks your crazy... and act even more crazy and emotional as you wonder, "What did I ever do to make him not want to be around me and doubt our future together?" Once you do all this, then you should be able to recognize that this has roughly the same effect with your boyfriend as your current thinking and behaviour. 

I want you to understand that your fear and jealousy is NOT going to go away, EVER, until you decide to get this part of your life handled. The reality right now is that no matter how good your relationship with a man might be, or how much reassurance you scream and cry to try and get him to give you... it will NEVER be enough for you because your mind will find a way to freak you out and ruin things for you. These same insecure, needy, negative feelings that drive men away are going to keep coming up over and over in place after place until you are ALONE again. Here are a few important questions you need to consider right now:

How do you think all your negative emotional fears and frustrations are affecting the man in your life? And how do these make him think and feel about you and your relationship? And what would he tell you and ask you for if he wasn't afraid of freaking you out, and was open and honest?
*Hint- learning to listen and understand a man's feelings is also a huge part of creating a strong relationship that meets BOTH of your needs.



If you haven't recognized it yet, men commonly have a kind of RESISTANCE to working through intense emotional situations in relationships. And it's often these same few areas of RESISTANCE that cause conflict in relationships and lead to men to pulling away or leaving. the common points of male "resistance" that come up in relationships that keep you from growing closer and more committed on a physical and emotional level.

Now back to it. The good news is that your situation isn't hopeless or "unfixable." But first, I want you to realize a few important truths about men and the common reasons why they leave relationships with women they like or love...

Reason #1: The "Pleasure Principle"
Men, and women, generally want to FEEL GOOD in their lives. And they want to have the people around them be a source of pleasure and comfort and support. Yourself included. When you are constantly freaking out on a man for what it is about him that freaks you out, you quickly turn into one of the people that it DOESN'T FEEL GOOD to be around. And this has a huge impact on whether or not he wants to invest more time, effort, and energy in you and your relationship. Or if he will decide to give up on trying to fix what's going on with you so you can both feel good together.

Reason #2: Emotional Experience And The Future
For a man in a relationship, the ways a woman acts in the "little" situations become indicators of how she's going to respond when things really are tough and in the future. So if a woman is consistently negative and emotional... and can't get herself together even when a man tries to explain things and comfort her... then a man isn't going to think that things could be any better in the future together.

Reason #3: Lost Feelings Of Attraction
Love can be important to a man. But just like a woman, if he doesn't also keep experiencing the exciting and addictive feelings of CONNECTION and ATTRACTION with the woman he loves... then eventually EVERYTHING ELSE starts to not matter. When a man doesn't FEEL that deep level of connection with a woman, at least every so often to remind him of why he's with her, then he'll forget why... and the relationship will become just a whole bunch of "work" to him. Whenever he thinks of his girlfriend, he'll think of all the problems, frustrations, and negative emotions and experiences... and he'll see a future and a commitment as something that will make him LESS SATISFIED in his life. Often times when women are feeling distance or trouble in a relationship, they'll try to "talk" to a man and work on "the relationship." Big mistake if you want to turn things around. For a man, he wants to do things together (not talk) to know his relationship is working. Creating a deep level of connection and sharing the attraction you have is one of the most powerful and important keys to giving a man his own reason for wanting to be with you, no matter what.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

DiE.

Can i DIE? I wished to do so right now. I'm wondering whether i had made the right choice. Seriously i felt i will do better in other field. Somehow the interest has turned into hatred. haih. I'm pretty down these days. I wished my friend's advice will work on me. But too bad, i cant control my thinking. I'm dying to know what went wrong. Oh brain, please be back to normal!! :( I left a big space for you but why wouldn't you help me to keep them in my memory and save them? I'm afraid i will disappoint my parents a lot. Oh God, tell me what am i suppose to do?? I'm gonna be insane at any time. Please don't force me to do something which i wouldn't want to do!

A disaster would be best to describe it. I wished to turn back the time and make new choices of my own. I love this but i'm not. DAMN. I think i have to go. Wanna bang the wall anytime. Bubye. Chaoz.

P/s: Stupid stomach! Please stop giving me gastric problems! Haih. I'm pretty stressful already. Iskk iskkk...

Monday, February 23, 2009

smiley. :)

Thanks for accompanying me. :) Looking forward to it. love you. <3  am having gastric again. stupid orange! haih. 

Let me introduced to you - my breakfast of the day. :) 

Oatmeal cereal with apricot. Yummy! :)


my biscuit. =)

Chaoz. Gotta study for my quiz. Bubye. :(

An Amazing Experience. =)

It was on Friday. I attended class from morning till 2pm. Had group discussion with group mates for awhile and went back at 3pm. As soon as i reached home, i had fruits for lunch and did some revision. At night, i got myself ready and prepared to go out with yin. Both of us had promised each other to have dinner at least once a week. And that's our PROMISE towards each other. hehe. :)

Later Js came to pick me up from metroview and we are off to ampang! Hooray! I went with yin,js, lam2 and yingyue. Our main purpose is to have dinner at the mountain top where we got to see the whole view of KL. Thanks to him alot. OR else i wont be able to get such opportunity to go to such place.



nice?




another view



Oh gosh! Before we reach to the hill top, i was fully amazed by the views. Superb amazing and beautiful. We had our dinner at Look Out Point. When we reached there, we were surprised. It was quite late at night and yet more people came and even waited to be served by the waiters and waitresses. Thank god we had places to sit. :) We quickly ordered western food. hmm. hungry!! haha.

While waiting for few minutes for our dinner to come, suddenly music filled the air. It was a birthday song. There were two gangs celebrating their friends' birthday. Wow! it was my experience seeing people celebrating birthday with such romantic view. One day, i will strongly recommend my future boyfriend to come here next time.. =)

Finally our food had arrived. As usual, we took pictures of our food. Haha.


yin, js and mine. hehe.



It was my first time having dinner at such place. :) Then, we quickly finished up our dinner and moved on to our next plan- TAKING PHOTOGRAPHS!! Haha. But the food wasnt really that nice after all. hmm. We then walked around the place and took a lot of photographs. :)




the girls


lam2, yingyue, jiunn shyan and i. :)


the dark side. sorry for the lousy camera phone.


my bestie. :)


we were busy watching the view ok? =P


a shot before we went back


We went back after this. I was happy though i need to attend classes at 8am the next morning. Hope to go again. hehe. Thanks a lot! =)

Sunday, February 22, 2009

idle.

I was bored for the whole day. In the morning, i chatted with my parents and sis on the phone. Then, continued studying. Midterm is coming soon!!! arghhh... Super stressful! Cried twice this morning. So lame! haha. But now i'm getting better (i guess). Since i was tired of studying and i took pictures. haha. :P  

sorry for the messy table. What to do? busy studying. haha



books and notes that need to be revised. haih. 


Another picture i had taken yesterday. 

McD 's burger. whee. :) You want some? :P

heartbroken.

I cried when you said you don't need me,
I cried when you said you do not know what to do,
I am totally upset when you claim that you don't need anything,
Then, what is the point of having me?

I just wanna try to spend more time with you.
But you totally hurt me when you said that right in front of me,
I felt I am useless in everyone's eyes,
I just wanna prove to you that I can do it as well,
But you never seem to appreciate me.

Never know my journey would be that hard,
Yet life still need to go on,
No matter how hard it is,
Pray to god and
Believe in yourself. :)

aGain.

Haih...Why didnt the time wait for me??? All i can do is to wait for the time to pass each day. *sigh*

Here was the blog during my CNY BREAK. Sorry for the late post. hm.. was waiting for the pics to reach into my hand. and finally i got them. whee. :)

Woke up early and went jogging alone. For your information, i didnt jog for weeks. Practically i was lazy and secondly my passion for jogging has reduced. Maybe cause my daddy complained that i grew thinner. Oh GOD! i didnt! Instead im getting fatter day by day. Each time im back from kl, my daddy will say my face is getting smaller. Smaller face doesnt mean im getting thinner. haha. What a good theory my daddy has! hehe. And my main purpose to jog is to make my body fit and healthy. Haih.

Sis followed me cause she was meeting her friends. But I went back alone. Crapped with my daddy and mummy as usual after breakfast. And bro went to ipoh without us. sob.

Nothing much to do. So I just stayed at home. I went to my friend’s house to collect stuffs later on. Then went back home. Siew Wen and Siew Ching planned to visit me. I waited for them to come. When they came, my relatives came to visit us too. My cousin is getting married this coming may. Looking forward to meet up with all my cousins again. :D


trying to get a dimple on my cheek. lol.


camwhored while my sis was driving. heeheeee..


holding peki. :P


my dearest =)


baby and i.


was being locked up in jail. lol. :P


with our hair being tied up. haha


How i wished i can stop the time. How i wished that i can adjust the clock time on my own. But i guessed it was totally IMPOSSIBLE!! *sigh*

Saturday, February 21, 2009

LOL.

LOL. Only RM0.25? haha. I can't imagine my hard work only worth such amount. haha. But better than none right? =)

GOD!!

Oh god! i'm pretty bad luck today. :( My specky was broken into pieces. HAIH. Freaking sad over it right now. :( Chaos. To be continued......

Friday, February 20, 2009

Why Men Lose Interest In Great Women

Tons of women are finding hard to find a great these days. Especially a little later in life after a break up or divorce.

Know what I'm talking about? Well, then let me ask you... If you did somehow meet a great guy... are you confident that you'd know what this attractive, successful, and "together" single man was really looking for in a woman? And more importantly... would you know how to have him RECOGNIZE YOU as the right woman for him and want to be with you and explore a real relationship? If you're like some other women I've met and worked with, then it's been a while since you've "dated"(or wanted to "date" or get out there).

Which begs the question... Do you even know how you REALLY come off when you're around a great guy and you're in that uncertain and awkward "casual dating" stage? What's tough here is that meeting men and "dating" can make it way too easy for you to act nervous, get a little freaked out, and NOT be your true "best self." Plus... lots of women THINK they know what a man wants, and pretend to understand what will get a man's attention and win his love and devotion...But the reality is that too many women end up making the exact same mistake from the start- they do and say the things with a man that would attract THEIR love and desire... instead of doing what works for HIM. For a real understanding of what will make a man see you as the right woman from the start and feel more intensely ATTRACTED to you each time you get together...




I'd like to share a few important things about men and why they are the way they are in relationships.

There's a common situation way, way too many loving women experience... It's when you meet a great guy, things get off to a great start, your relationship deepens, and you share lots of love and affection...But then at some point in the relationship, for what seems like no reason, the man seems to suddenly lose interest and start to show you or tell you that he's not sure he wants to be together anymore. But what changed? You racked your brain to try and remember something that had actually happened that would have changed his mind about you and your relationship... but there was nothing. It was like one day he woke up and was a different person who no longer could remember or get in touch with his feelings for you and all the things you share. And worst of all... part of you felt like there was nothing you could have done to PREVENT IT, or to FIX IT once it happened.


Once he made up his mind, that was it. Things were never the same. And even if you did "patch things up"... in the back of your mind you knew it was only temporary. And that this surely wasn't a SECURE relationship. Who knew when the next time he'd change his mind would be and send you and your relationship into a total tailspin. I'd like to share with you what's going on inside a man's mind in these situations... And how to not only AVOID these kinds of situations in your future - but make sure you end up in a relationship where the man can't help but want to hold your relationship together and do HIS PART.
Ok, here's something super important I need you to know about a man and how he either makes a great partner, or leaves you heartbroken..

THE IMPORTANCE OF CHOOSING THE RIGHT MAN


The first thing I want to say is that if you're a woman who has been holding a relationship together with your own two bare hands for months or years of pain and heartache... while your guys does all kinds of ridiculous and stupid stuff again and again, then I feel for you. These kinds of situations are not great, at all. And so you know... a true goal of what I consider my "Purpose" and life's work is to help you share and experience the kind of love you really want. And to help you do that without having to go through as much pain and frustration as you might have had to endure in your past. In a way, I wish I could keep you from ever feeling like you have to do all "the work" in your relationship ever again. But here's the reality... I don't choose the man you bring into your life for you. And I don't choose the things that you choose to say and do and feel with a man. One of the most important things I've learned over the years helping women is this- If you don't know when enough is enough...
then you're destined to contribute to your own suffering.

How many girlfriends have you known who have been with guys who might have been "OK" people, but the guy just kept doing things to them over and over that broke their heart again and again?

And you watched as each time things went bad, the same cycle of behavior started again, only to end up exactly where it left off the last time with her telling herself he would change and things would be different. You wished you could pull your girlfriend out of this, but all you could do was support her and be a loving shoulder to cry on when the predictable bad cycle started again. But let me ask you... You might not realize it right now, but odds are that if you've had a run of "failed" relationships... then you too have been guilty of both choosing the WRONG MAN... and of trying to fix or save a situation that was never yours to try and salvage in the first place. As the saying goes 'Men are "as is" items'. Like a pair of shoes. If you buy a pair "as is", you can't bring them to the repair shop and expect everything to be taken care of and fixed. Sales are final. No returns. No repairs.

Lesson: Beware the pair you choose.
Men are the same way when you're considering a real long-term relationship. If you're taking a good hard look at a man you want to change something about him - it's wise to understand that he's not a ball of clay who can be shaped over time. He's more of a pot that was made from clay who has already been "fired." He's "fixed" as far as you're concerned once you're in a relationship with him. That is, unless HE DECIDES he wants to grow and change FOR HIMSELF. (Hint - notice that I didn't say change for YOU.) No, men can listen and grow and change with the help of others. And good men grow, and do so often. But it usually takes a strong teacher, mentor or authority figure for a man to hear them and be open to learning from their feedback. But this DOES NOT mean that you should become a man's "teacher." (Although too many women try.) Here's why...

You ABSOLUTELY 100% CANNOT take on this role as a man's "teacher" AND at the same time be THE WOMAN he truly loves, wants to please, and is passionately ATTRACTED TO. The two roles just don't go together. Taking on one role simply doesn't allow you to act as the other. Following me here? Good.


So knowing that... which role would you like to be in your relationship to the man you love? The woman who is constantly trying to get a man to change, and who has to struggle with who and what a man is? (The Teacher) Or the woman a man can't help but want to LOVE, and is so deeply affected and moved by that he can't help but want to be a better man just to be recognized and appreciated in her eyes? (The Lover)

Let me give you a hint here:

Lots of women who take on the role of the "Teacher" often do so out of DESPERATION and FRUSTRATION with their current relationship because the man doesn't treat them as the beloved Lover they want to be treated as.
And because of this, the "teaching" they try and do with the man is accidentally done in a way where he feels CRITICIZED. (Which often happens as a woman tries to tell a man where he's going wrong - even when she's coming from a place of LOVE and SUPPORT.) Truth be told, a man doesn't want a woman who will try and change him or tell him how to think or act. Think "nagging" in a man's mind. A man, just like a woman, wants someone who will make him feel APPRECIATED for who he is.

Long story short, I don't think that you, as a woman, should have to do all "the work" in your relationship, and constantly be looking for what's wrong with YOU. Men should do their part in love and in relationship. But...It's my belief and experience that the only thing you can do in a real relationship out of true love to help your partner is to:

A) RECOGNIZE and ACCEPT who your partner REALLY is, and not what you want them to be

B) Be the very best "you" that you can be. And not just for the sake of your relationship, but for your own sake. Considering this last point, why would you ever be upset about being the one to be CONSCIOUS and GROWING in the way you are in your relationship? Let me land the plane a little bit here...The reason why I don't talk about how to change or "fix" a man is because I know you CAN'T FIX A MAN.

The more you try, the more unhappy you are going to be, the more the man in your life is going to resent you and not enjoy being around you... and the more your relationship is going to fall apart. Trying to "fix" a man is a GIANT trap that way too many women unconsciously fall into in their relationships without ever realizing it. And it's this "teaching" that a man perceives not as love and a desire to improve your relationship, but as CRITICISM, that is the very thing that PUSHES HIM AWAY and makes him WITHDRAW. Ironic, isn't it - that the more you try and "fix" your relationship by talking to a man, the more you can make him feel like your relationship just isn't working.

There are specific ways you can tap into the side of a man that will open him up to being the one who starts planning your future with you and talks about all the benefits of a SECURE and COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP together. And you can "shift" things with a man more quickly and with less "work" than you ever thought possible. But only if you know how to communicate with a man around the whole concept of COMMITMENT...and show him how it's completely in HIS best interest. A man will be OPEN to the idea of commitment if you know the NEGATIVE TRIGGERS to avoid that activate what I call his "natural resistance" to long-term commitment.


Don't wait for a man to figure things out and lead your relationship forward on his own. And don't make the mistake of trying to do all the "heavy lifting" yourself to make things come together and work in your relationship. If you leave things up to a man and his internal "wiring" that keeps him wanting to stay "casual" and keep his freedom... then things aren't going to move forward for you and grow more committed on any level any time soon.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

sad. :(

sob. My plan was CANCELLED already! Haih. :(

Handed Up. :)

I had handed up my maths assignment yesterday. I felt relieved to know that i had solved an assignment. HAHa. But they are still more to go. Thermodynamics quizes and Dynamics exam are coming on my way by next week. Heat and Mass Transfer's assignment will be passed up on the 8th week. Fluid Mechanics exam will be held on the week 8th on Saturday. Introduction to Chemical Engineering assignment will be due by next week. I'm trying hard to finish the slides and the technical reports. Hopefully i can complete them by this week as I had promised my friends. =) Thank god i had finished up my individual report and needed to recheck it again for confirmation before handing up.

I slept rather early yesterday as I'm freaking tired to study after finding some informations regarding my group assignment. Thank god i managed to finish part of it. And i will continuethem in the evening and discuss with my group mate by tomorrow. :) Yesterday, i was freaking pissed off. But i wouldn't mention it here. Seriously i need someone to share my problems with. But it seems that no one could do so. What we talk normally is nonsense and jokes all the time. I wouldn't talk but just to listen to them cause i cant tell jokes. Zzzz.. How lame am i huh?

That is why people tend to hate me. I knew people hate me a lot. But just they wouldn't want to tell me. If anybody could confront me about it, i will be delighted to hear so as i can learn from mistakes. Telling lies to my friends and family is the most ever guilty things i would do. Seriously, few years back, after lying to my parents make me sad for so long. But people don't seem to understand me. Instead all they want is just for their own good. They only want something that will bring benefit to them. All right! Then, next time would you be happy if you do so? I will guess it's a NO right?

People nowadays tend to avoid the facts they had gone through. They didn't want to accept the facts (just like me. Zzzz) And officially i'm here to announce that i'm a failure! haha. But I just did it. The sentences above would be best describe me for the past few years. But right now, i DONT think so. Why would i remember about it whereas i have showered myself with family and friends' love?



Love is an undying stuff to do. Love is an abstract thing that we couldn't see. For all you need is to experience it before. I guessed everyone experience it. Right now i'm in love with my books and things around me. It is called love too. Love can be divided into different kinds of love. But one thing for sure, if you hate that person, that means you really love that person. When a person accidentally or purposely hurt your feelings even though it was just a small matter, you could really feel a few cuts on the heart. If people whom you didn't love said something that might hurt you but you tend not to get hurt at all, that is for sure that these people don't really mean something in your heart.



I had experienced that before. Even though we are friends after for quite sometimes, each word that comes from the mouth of that particular people will always remember in our tiny heart. Sometimes we were angry for what that person had said and not just to simply make ourself angry. But that particular person always think that we get angry easily cause we don't love them anymore. HAHA. That sounded quite funny when i recalled back.

Every story has its own endings and i chose to pick the bad ending. It wasn't really bad after all cause i DESERVE it. I'm bad and bitch after all. Everyone knew it. It was just something they wouldn't want to mention that in front of me. Hmm. All i can do now is sit back and relax my bladdy brain. I need them urgently! COME BACK MY BRAIN!! HEHE.. Chaos. I would like to thank myself for the ending. Thanks janice. haha. :P

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Stop Attracting The Wrong Men

Tired of being single and not having the kind of love in your life you know is possible?



How would you like to hear about the quickest and easiest way to meet a great guy, know that he's truly good "relationship material" for you, and start a new relationship that could end up being the one that lasts forever?



I'm going to throw out a few situations that come up with men that you might be wondering how to handle. Then I'm going to show you what to do in these situations.

Let's get started...

See if you identify with any of these:

-"I don't have a problem meeting men, but I seem to attract all the WRONG GUYS. Why is this?"

-"I've been hurt before, and I don't feel like getting back out there and dating again. How do I get myself to a place where I can open up to a man again and go about this?"

-"I'd love to be with a great guy and enjoy a close and loving relationship... but there don't seem to be any good single guys around. Where can I meet a genuinely good guy?"

-"The moment I finally do see or meet a great guy, I get nervous and uncertain and I don't really know what to do or say to get his attention and interest. What should I do, and how do I know if a guy is interested?"

-"I've heard that other women have met their boyfriends or husbands online, but online dating is not for me." Or... "I tried online dating and it didn't work for me."

Let's get right to the first scenario and the question that goes along with it-

Scenario #1:
"I don't have a problem meeting men, but I seem to attract all the WRONG GUYS. Why is this?"



If I had a nickel for every time a woman shared this experience with me... then I'd be VERY well off. The fascinating part is that almost every woman who shares this experience seems to believe she's one of the only "unlucky" women around who has this problem. Meanwhile... TONS of other women have this exact same problem of dating all the "wrong men."

What's going on here? Let's break the situation down and take a closer look. I'll start from the very beginning...

You meet a guy, you feel a strong level of chemistry and connection for him, and you get involved with him. Then comes your first mistake- Only AFTER THE FACT, once you've already become sexual and intimate with him, do you start to find out who he REALLY IS and what he REALLY WANTS-He wants his "freedom." Or... He's not looking for a "serious relationship" right now. Or.. "It's not you, it's him. He's just not ready." Of course, hearing this AFTER you've already spent time with a man, become intimate, and grown more and more ATTACHED to him is a total WHACK upside the head for you. I'm betting at least one of these reasons a man can give for NOT wanting to be with you sounds strangely familiar.



If you've had this happen to you with a man, and perhaps had it happen more than once... the question is how come this kind of thing is so common with men? How come a man will PULL AWAY even when you really hit it off and there's a great relationship right in front of you both?

And why do so many men so often use these same "excuses"? Is it because men really and truly are AFRAID OF RELATIONSHIPS? Or is there something else going on? Something a little deeper than a man suddenly pulling away out of fear, or for no good reason at all. I'm going to suggest to you that there is in fact something else going on at a deeper level. The best place to start is to address the idea or belief that way too many men are afraid of relationships.

I have a very different perspective on this than you might have heard before. I DON'T believe that men are afraid of real relationships. Not at all. I believe that men simply don't care much about relationships until they feel and experience that intense flood of EMOTIONS that takes over their body and mind. And that flood of feelings and emotions that takes over a man's thoughts and desires, and is capable of literally causing a man to do a complete 180 degree turn away from his prior wants and beliefs, is commonly referred to as ATTRACTION.

Of course, when I'm talking about this kind of powerful and transformative force... I'm not just talking about your run of the mill "Physical Attraction." A man can experience that 3 times a day simply by laying eyes on a woman. This kind of Physical Attraction has very little to do with WHY a man will want a REAL RELATIONSHIP with a woman (although it is also a necessary component). In other words, there's something else a man must experience with a woman that goes DEEPER than just that PHYSICAL ATTRACTION. And if you don't know what this other thing is, how it works, and how to create it inside a man once you're getting to know each other and "dating"... then it's going to be VERY DIFFICULT for a close, loving, and lasting relationship to come together. To put it bluntly, without this "other level of attraction"... a man just isn't going to feel it for you in a way that will have him pursuing you for more and wanting to get even closer to you.

Instead, he'll simply be satisfied with spending time here and there with you on a "casual" basis... and he won't have much interest or desire to get much closer to you in love and a relationship. This is how a man works. If he doesn't FEEL IT with you... then no amount of TALKING to him about opening up or COMMITMENT is going to move things along. In fact, if you try and talk your way into a relationship with a man "logically"... odds are it's going to completely BACKFIRE and he's going to become increasingly DISTANT and eventually pull away altogether. You've seen this happen before.

Don't keep making the same mistake so many other women make trying to CONVINCE a man to engage in a relationship... when the only way a man truly gets involved and STAYS with a woman is when the emotional experiences he's having with a woman (the deeper attraction) tells him that this is the one woman for him. Luckily, if you don't have the right man in your life right now, and you don't know how this "other attraction" works, I've got some very GOOD NEWS...

TAKE NOTE : And if you're single and just starting off with "dating" and meeting new men... it's a whole different situation than when you're already with a man and you want to take the attraction and connection between you to the next level. In that case, you need to know how to find, identify, and capture the RIGHT MAN'S attention and interest... and then you need to know how the dating process works with a man. Once you learn all this, moving from first meeting to the first few dates to a growing and thriving relationship becomes easy... as you know all the steps along the way and can easily move from one to the next with the man in your life. Don't let the common "traps" that other women fall into with dating get in your way. If you don't know what this is, and why so many women make this same mistake, then you're bound to keep messing things up and pushing the man who could be the right one for you away.

Oh... and if you're single and having a hard time meeting good guys...Then I want to share with you the absolute quickest and easiest way to find a great guy, make sure he's true "relationship material",and start to connect with him on a deeper level right away.

Are men really afraid of relationships? I'll give it to you straight: I don't believe that men are inherently afraid of or resistant to "real relationships"-even though I'm sure you have your own "proof" to the contrary. Here's how I know I'm right... How many times have you known a man who was a friend, or dated a man, who was intent on staying single... and even shunned what could have been a great relationship with an amazing woman just because he didn't want a "serious relationship"?

But then, just a few weeks or months later, that man met another woman. And within just a few weeks with this new woman he was COMPLETELY SPRUNG and head over heels for her... and he was BEGGING HER for a committed relationship? Fascinating...

If you're like most women, then you've seen several men you know do this "instant switch" thing where all of a sudden they want a serious relationship... when all they could talk about before was being "on their own." Here's the reality.. Most men are never "ready" for a relationship. It's not until they FEEL the magical feelings and experiences with a woman that tell them that "Hey, this is the woman for me" do most men want a relationship. To make a long story short... love and a LASTING RELATIONSHIP are very rarely DECISIONS that a man makes or plans for.

Love and a lasting relationship is something that a man discovers when a woman affects him in a deep, intense, emotional way to where he literally makes a "shift"... and his old conscious and "logical" thoughts of wanting to wait are simply overcome with his DESIRE. It's amazing how people (and men) really work. And it's even wilder that no one ever stopped to tell us these things about human nature. Now, you might be asking yourself... "How does this all relate to the initial question of how come so many women choose the wrong men?"



Here's how...


Just like a man, when a woman FEELS that intense physical AND emotional connection with a man... she's often carried away by it. And when this happens, something fascinating takes place inside the minds and bodies of most women... They start to believe that the CONNECTION they feel with a man is in and of itself PROOF that this is a "special" situation that is going to become a deeper relationship... and that the man must be sharing these same feelings. When the truth is that, to a man, the CONNECTION that they feel with a woman early on can have nothing to do with whether or not they want a RELATIONSHIP with a woman.

A man who DOESN'T yet feel like he wants a relationship with a woman can do the following:
-Call a woman, spend time with her, and get physically and sexually involved with her

-Compliment her, tell her she's beautiful, and buy her gifts or bring her flowers

-Spend time with her over a period of weeks or months and still think of things as "casually dating" with no commitment or "relationship".

What I'm getting at here is that there's a DANGER in "dating" if you don't understand how men think and behave when it comes to dating and what constitutes a "relationship" to a man. I call this "The Danger Of A Connection." It's because of the connection that you feel with a man, you mistakenly believe and start acting as though he's interested in a more serious relationship, when he's not there yet in his mind. (By the way - this is one of the quickest ways to make a man PULL AWAY and kill the ATTRACTION he might have been feeling for you and stop what you had growing between you dead in it's tracks.)

I can't tell you how many women meet a great guy, feel that spark, spend time with a man and share affection... and then totally MISUNDERSTAND his desire for a relationship because they become convinced that he must share the same feelings they have. And this is the number one complaint I hear from great women - that they meet a great guy, hit it off, they get close and intimate, and then the guy backs off and they think- "Argggh! Why do I always pick these same loser commitment-phobes!?!"



Dating doesn't have to be filled with "games," uncertainty, or even "drama"... if you know how a man thinks and what to do to truly connect with a man on a deep level and start the kind of real relationship you want. It would be great if you could simply skip the dating process and dive right into a safe and secure loving relationship. I would want that for you.. But that's not how things start off.

Scenario #2:
-"I've been hurt before, and I don't feel like getting back out there and dating again.
How do I get myself to a place where I can open up to a man again and go about this?" The short answer is to get back in touch with that strong, loving, feminine, beautiful woman who's already inside you... but who's having a tough time shining through right now.

Scenario #3:
-"The moment I finally do see or meet a great guy, I get nervous and uncertain and I don't really know what to do or say to get his attention and interest. What should I do, and how do I know if a guy is interested?" Easy. You need to know what it is you can say and do that will CREATE ATTRACTION with a man - even from the first moment.

Scenario #4:
-"I've heard that other women have met their boyfriends or husbands online, but online dating is not for me." Or... "I tried online dating and it didn't work for me." I've taken the time to put together an entire guide to online dating. It shows you not only an easy step-by-step to write the kind of PROFILE that will both attract the right men and screen out all the wrong ones online... but it will quickly have the right men contacting YOU and wanting your time and attention - for the right reasons.