Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Differences Betw. What Men Said&What They Mean

Have you ever heard a man say something like:
"I'm not ready for a serious relationship."

Or how about this one -
"I want my freedom."

If you've been close in a relationship with a man and he pulled away, then of course you've heard this before. Men say this stuff all the time.

Do you know what a man "really" means when he says these things? And, do you know WHAT TO DO that can instantly change a man's predictable behavior of WITHDRAWAL or RESISTANCE?

If not, then it's time you stop listening to what a man will SAY TO YOU about himself and his feelings... and start paying attention to what's going on inside his heart and mind.

Men are DIFFERENT from women. And the words 
they use often don't mean what they SOUND like
 they mean. So, the FIRST thing that you have to get 
through your head is that just because a man SAYS
 something to you, it doesn't always mean what you
 THINK it means.

Catch my meaning?

THE BIG SECRET HE ISN'T TELLING YOU

There's a secret that men never happen to
 mention about what they want with a woman, why
 they date, and what it means for them to have a
 relationship. Unfortunately, for the good women who are
 trying to create a great relationship with a 
man... and hoping that if they try hard enough to 
make him happy with them so he'll stay... this
 little secret is causing a LOT of pain and
 frustration. It's true!

The SECRET is that most men DO want a
 relationship with an amazing woman. BUT... (and this is an important insight - it 
might take you a few hours, days, or even weeks to
 start to understand it for yourself)

Men only want a relationship with a woman who 
already has about 100 other qualities that they 
never mention and could probably never list or 
describe even if they were asked to. And they'll only end up emotionally involved
 and not RESISTING a long term relationship if they
 experience for themselves a woman who proves she 
has these qualities over time.

In other words, if a man says, "I need to be 
alone right now," what he REALLY means is:
I want a woman who will make me FEEL better 
when I'm with her than I do in my everyday life as 
a single man.

The REALITY is that when a man says one of
 these "I want my freedom" statements, he actually
 has an IDEAL woman in mind who understands who he
 is and won't make it feel like "work" when he's
 with her. A man wants a woman who knows how to have and
 enjoy a relationship... instead of one who spends 
her time and energy trying to analyze, worry 
about, and "fix" things. The reality of this situation is that what a 
man REALLY wants is a woman who makes him feel
 MORE of the EMOTIONAL and PHYSICAL response I like
 to call ATTRACTION... and LESS of the worry and 
confusion that men don't often like, or know how 
to deal with, that comes from "working" on a 
serious relationship.

For most men, feeling and sharing attraction on 
a physical and emotional level IS the defintion of
 a good relationship. Of course, I'm not just talking about the 
common "short-term" kind of attraction that's 
mostly physical... You already know that a relationship takes a 
whole lot more than just this kind of thing to 
really work and LAST. I'm also talking about the more "long-term"
 kind of attraction that comes from a deeper 
EMOTIONAL connection and understanding. A man wants a woman who makes him FEEL great,
both when he's with her... AND when he's alone.

In other words, they want a woman who knows how 
to be loving and affectionate, but independent at 
the same time. But most men either can't describe the things 
that actually make them feel this kind of 
CONNECTION and ATTRACTION with a woman, or they
 don't WANT to have to describe it to a woman,
because they want a woman who already IS those 
things... without having to learn them.

Think about it.

If you were hiring a bodyguard, would you want 
one that said, "Yeah, I can be a bodyguard. Just 
give me some time to learn..." or would you want
 one that already KNEW how to protect and defend 
at anytime, anywhere without having to "learn"?
Duh.

Well, the same goes with men.

They don't WANT a woman they have to train. The last thing a man wants to do, is to take a
 woman who DOESN'T "naturally" understand these
 things, and show her what they are and how they 
work. If you don't already know how to relate to a 
man in a way that appeals to him and shows him 
that you "get" all these things, then no amount of 
"talking things through" or trying to improve
 things together is going to help you or make him
 start seeing you as the woman he wants to stay
 with.